Female Advice

Not knowing how many holes  a woman has is a pretty common misconception from both women and men. More than you realize. Don’t think it’s so obvious or we take it for granted both men and women know the correct answer to the female anatomy. When most people think they already know something they can’t be curious about it, right? Until it comes up in conversation, is when you learn you’re right or totally off-base.

Sound familiar?

I didn’t look down there if I didn’t have to. All I remembered was to scrub and washcloth with a bar of soap in-between my va-jay-jay (vagina) parts just like my Mom did.

Teens (Age 13)

The vagina is it’s own hole. It leads to the cervix and uterus where a baby grows. By the time I got my period (Age 13) I not only had to look, but wonder how to clean this crunchy brillo pad during my menstrual cycle. I became more familiar with the different types of discharge during the month and smell. This gave me a better sense of good or bad vaginal odors too. All I cared about at this stage of my life was peeing and pooping. I was not dating. In my world, that meant two different holes since I was not having sex.

Fast forward.

Teens through to my 20s

I didn’t realize there was a third hole.

True confession.

Now that I was in college and having sex the process of elimination was easy. Remember I thought I had two holes, which meant it was one of the two holes I that existed in my head. I assumed we peed and had sex from the same hole.I thought the pee and couchie hole multi-tasked as both a pee, period, and baby hole.

My 30s

One day one of my guy friends asked me to name all the holes. I stumbled. At first racking my brain for the medical names or pretending I knew them. Ever answer a question in a guessing voice, but with an air of confidence? I started to slowly name female anatomy parts, but not the holes.  He was shocked to find out I didn’t know the answers, biological names, and the correct number. I really had no memory of it – not from school or the birds and the bees talk from my Mom. The only two resources I had growing up.

In most cases, this conversation is not coming from our Mothers. You would think after our Mother have babies this would be the easiest biology lesson to give their daughters. Sigh.

My health and sex-ed class was so basic.  Furthermore, it was given by an ex-nun at my Catholic school. Frankly, they were more interested in scare tactics than providing unbiased information. Need I say more? That’s an oxymoron right there. By mistake I looked up at a woman delivering her baby and remember putting my head back down until that scene was finished. All I remember was leaving class mortified.

Three Holes Down There

If you were like me or any teenager, you didn’t pay attention in sex-ed or health class.  There are three holes: 1) anus aka poop hole, 2) vagina aka vadge, vajayjay, or couchie (this is where you bleed every month, have sex, and deliver a baby), and 3) urethra aka peep hole located under the clitoris and above the vagina.

Both our poop and main couchie hole are the easiest to locate and feel, right? Ever checked the exact location of your little dot (pee hole)? Lemme say it a bit differently. Can you pee in a cup with aim and precision? You would think we would have this nailed by now. It’s between your clitoris and vagina. Even better. We all are guilty of this. Remember trying to insert a tampon without hurting? I am sure many of us poked our little dot (pee hole) more than once thinking it was your vagina. Squeeel.