In this GIRLCAM Series, real women give real advice [ SEASON 1 – WASHINGTON, DC ]. It’s prom time. What does that annual ritual mean? Besides graduating from high school,  there are some expectations that this may be the time when you lose the vcard.

Before you take the leap, listen to what these women have to say about losing your virginity stories. Dating your boyfriend for some time now? Only a few months and your trying to decide to make the one leap for your womankind. Are you being pressured by your boyfriend or is it self-inflicted peer pressure?

All of your besties lost theirs and you are the last woman standing, huh? Before you sell your tender vittles soul to your boyfriend, check out what #girlcircle had to say first.

Losing your vcard is a memory that never goes away. You won’t get it back either. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Forget the born again vcarders.  So here’s a six real life personal stories from the girlcircle to help you understand this rite of passage a little better.

GIRL STORY #1 – A GOODREAD

She was a virgin. He wasn’t. She had a fairytale story (birds chirping and orchestra playing) that will make you sick and go awwww. Her boyfriend drew illustrations in a book format and walked her through each position and facts about sex before she lost her virginity. Her taught her how to orgasm.

GIRL STORY #2 – CHECK THE BOX

She was a virgin. He wasn’t. She staged her her first time. Picked the guy out and went to her best friend for permission. YAAS! She went to her best friend because she wanted to have her ex-boyfriend. Her best friend always used to talk about how good her ex-man so she wanted to experience this sexy mutha for herself. Cray, cray, huh?! Is taking this kind of ownership the right move? Staking out your first?

GIRL STORY #3 – UGH, THAT WAS IT?

Wait?! That was it? All she remembered was looking up at the ceiling in total disappointment.

She was a virgin. He wasn’t. This is a fact. The minute any guys finds out you’re a virgin his bells are ringing ding a ling. As of now, you are the biggest conquest alive. All he friggin cares about is taking yours and being the first to have it. Also know that guys are worse gossipers than women and that’s total bragging rights to his boys. He will not appreciate the fact that you waited to lose your virginity to him. To make things worse, after he shares the deets with this boys, they will step to you next.

GIRL STORY #4 – DUMB JOCK

I was a virgin. He wasn’t. Stereotypical. This dumb jock I was infatuated with guilt-tripped me to having sex. I ignored him a number of times. He kept asking me if I went to the doctor or if I was on the pill yet? I swear he was on repeat and shuffle.  Next, he gave me an ultimatum to end the relationship. I was guilt-tripped. I caved in. Made the OB/GYN appointment and BOOM got my prescription. Then it was the hunger games. I was hunting him down for more sex. Then it morphed to one-sided pity sex.

GIRL STORY #5 – INSANITY

Something mentally changes real quick. Seriously, there is something in your brain that gets triggered from this point onwards that makes you go insane. Your not in control of your actions like you used to be.  You’re mind becomes a mental robot to your first boyfriend. You just shake your head and say yes to everything. You lose yourself and, at the same time, it will bring out the hornball in you. All you think about is him and the next time you want to have sex or  you become this needy girl. In fact, the saddestlittlekitty ever. You will not be able to see straight until he breaks your heart or doesn’t something real stupid. It’s an experience like everything else in life.

That was the first rut I found myself in. I learned early on that this was a helpless place I never wanted to revisit on purpose. Losing your virginity during my college semester was not a good look to my first semester grades. I lost total focus. I vowed I would never put myself at someone else’s mercy at my expense. Furthermore, it wasn’t even good. Now I am totally hypnotized by this guy who doesn’t even care. It’s not until after or many years later you’re like what was I thinking? Down the road you will tell your future self I can’t believe I was ever that stupid.

GIRL STORY #6 – POST SEX STUFF

It’s not going to feel 100% great because you don’t know what to expect and your mind is more focused on the poking, prodding, pressure, and pain of your pum pum opening up for the first time. You will have more sex in life, but it will make more sense when you understand how your own plumbing works first. If you didn’t enjoy it, learn to choose wisely, and don’t pressure yourself into it either. Awkward post sex side effects. No one tells you that you will be sore, it will sting when you pee at first, your lips (labia) swollen, and, if you orgasm, you will be shaking, and dripping fluids after sex. Sex smells too. It smells sweaty, like a used condom, and fluids.

TAKEAWAYS

You always go back and time and tell yourself gosh he was a loser and didn’t deserve me, right? There will be other guys who can put their truck into 4-wheel drive. Avoid the jocks at all costs. Nice guys do finish last. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons. You are not respecting yourself. You and your mind are worth more than your body. No one talks about the mental craziness this has on your brain, the guilty conscious, and brain fog. If he broke your heart, you’re not worthless.

Sex is not going to blow your mind until you get older.Having sex after you know how your body works  and what turns you on is so friggin better. In the beginning, it’s about some bumping and grinding, awkward ugly faces, staring at him or the ceiling, and breaking new sound barriers. With a few of these stories, this decision didn’t mark a sense of an existing commitment, but a check-in-the-box moment. If I loved him and wasn’t so impatient, I wouldn’t have any regrets. Just sayin.

Can you relate to any of these stories? Post a comment to let other women know your story. Every girl has a story to tell.

Smooches!